I'm Not Sorry
by Natalia.P
Summary: When Riley is sent back to prison for hacking the phoenix foundation her team is angry and confused why she would do something like that? But not everything is back and white.
1. Chapter 1

My brain doesn't feel like it's even working, this place I'm in seems to drain me of everything that makes me who I am. With a loud and frustrated sigh, I lean my head back against the cold wall, the thin orange jumpsuit barely protects me from the cold, a shiver runs through me spreading from the goosebumps on top of my bruised skin all the way down to the depths of my bones. Feelings, memories and fears have been the only thing on my mind. The first time I was in prison I knew there would be a day I would get out, a day that I would really see the world and breathe fresh air again, and that's exactly what happened. Jack and MacGyver got me out of this hell hole, I traveled the world, I saw places and experienced things I never thought could ever happen to me. Then the other shoe dropped.

I did something very bad with good intensions, just like the first time I did something knowing I would end up stuck in a little room in this horrible orange jumpsuit. I would never let anything bad happen to the people I care for. No. The people I love. However, the biggest difference this time there will be no freedom, I'm not getting out. Saving the people I love has cost me my own life, my own freedom. This little room and orange jumpsuit is my life now, and this is exactly where my life will end.

A tear slips down my cheek. In any other situation, I would have wiped the tear away, never wanting to show any sign of weakness. Now, what's the point? I've been beaten senseless and even if Jack or MacGyver wanted to get me out they wouldn't be able to, they wouldn't even want to try, with what they think I've done I wouldn't be surprised if they never came to visit. I have no hope anymore.

Time in a place like this is different to the outside world. An hour feels like a year, and a year feels like 10. I'm not exactly sure how much time had passed before my cell door swings open reveling on very angry looking man and one younger looking lad. The older man uniform looks well-worn with what looks like old ketchup stains on his front, or maybe its blood, who even knows in a place like this. The second man doesn't look much older than 20, his baby face down make him intimidating in the slightest, he even looks like a gentleman, the type of man every woman hopes her daughter would date. I wonder how he ended up in a place like this?

"get up" guard no.1 demands, he takes a few steps forwards before pulling out his nightstick.

"are you fucking def? I said get up", I can't even bring myself to fear the guards or worry they might decide to have ago at beating me as well.

"miss, you have visitors" just as I suspected, guard no.2 is polite and respectful.

I knew the authorities would come asking questions about exactly what damage I caused. Gingerly raise myself from the floor, all my bruises and abrasions pulling and screaming for me to stop. I wince as I take a step forward, my left leg is especially sore from the 'welcome back to prison' beating I received. Motioning for me to keep going I slowly walk out my cell. Guard no.1 grabs my forearm tightly forcing me forward, however guard no.2 has a hold on my forearm as well but he is much more gentle, I'm sure he has noticed my injuries. Looking up I give him a small thankful smile, he nods his head obviously trying to stay professional.

A small spark of hope runs though me, last time I was in this room I was given a second chance at freedom, now I know I'm just going to be bombarded with unwanted question that I can't and never will answer.

When we get to the door guard no.2 stays behind as guard no.1 pulls me forward into the room. There is one stainless steel table bolded to the floor and two chairs, naturally guard no.1 practically throws me into the chair forcing a quiet whimper to escape my lips. Roughly he pushed my chair forwards and handcuffs me to the table, pulling the cuffs extra tight causing them to pinch my skin painfully. My head leans forwards, hair covering my face and hopefully all my visible bruises. Of course, I can't hide the ones decorating my arms.

The one-way window has always given me a weird feeling, the people on the other side could be doing literally anything and I would have no idea, I hate the feeling of not knowing. The sound of the door opening makes my heart jump, I so desperately want to look up but I don't want to show any of my bruises to my 'visitors'. When they sit down we stay sitting in silence for what feels like a long time, I stubbornly will not be the one to break the silence, that's up to them.

"Riley?"

Without even meaning to my head snaps up and my eyes connect with Jacks. I'm speechless, I was so sure they would never want to ever see me again and even if they did visit it would be to yell and accuse me of all my crimes and wrong doings. I especially never ever thought they would speak to me with such gentle tones and look at me with such loving eyes. Ever again. Once my shock subsides I look to my right and my eyes meet MacGyver's. The words never seem to form in my mouth, it's up to one of them to speak.

"Riley, we came here to talk to you about…what happened"

More like what I did. I can barely breathe, I'm so happy to see familiar faces but my happiness is short lived and it quickly turns to embarrassment as I watch them take in my physical condition, self-consciously I shift in my seat trying to fiddle the cuffs or try and get my rolled-up sleeves to cover my arms.

"Riley what- what the hell happened to you?"

I was jack this time, concern written all over his face. MacGyver has the same look mirrored on his own features. Jack glances towards the one-way mirror, making me wonder who could possibly be on the other side. Could it be Thornton? Or even Bozer? Maybe Nikki?

"oh, you know, just a 'welcome back to prison, hope you haven't forgotten who's boss around here' beating"

I try to sound light heated but that becomes more difficult with the constant pain my body is in. Both Mac and Jack look horrified by my care free demeanor, honestly though they would probably be even more horrified by how I really feel. Mac visibly takes a long deep breath before continuing.

"we need to know exactly what information you leaked"

Back to business I guess.


	2. Chapter 2

_Flashback_

 _My life is over, and trust me I don't use it in the same context a teenage girl might when she sends an embarrassing text to her crush, I mean I just entered the building I will take my last breath. My head is hung low, I am completely terrified for what will happen next. The guards on either side of me hold my arms too tight. I can already tell they are going to leave a bruise; as if I could escape, my hands are cuffed behind my back and I have a beefy man on either side of me literally dragging me inside._

 _The first day in prison is always the worst, especially in a super max. The old timers in here like to make sure you know who runs things around here, they love crushing your spirit. The worst part is everyone already knows your rap sheet and when I'm walking into a prison full of murderers and serial rapists and I'm here for hacking, I might as well have big target painted on my back. The first day it's likely that top dog and her followers will beat the crap out of you, make sure you know what will happen if you ever step out of line. Walking in on your fist day for a second time is even worse._

 _I hung my head low hair covering my features, I don't want to make eye contact with anyone. Walking down the endless halls takes what feels like hours, the bland walls all the same off grey, flickering lights; almost seems to drain any hopes I might have of ever experiencing the outside world again._

 _Settling into your room is easy, just throw your stuff down and break down in tears mourning your lost life. Lunch is the hardest. All inmates forced to go outside in a small concrete courtyard and socialize, this is when the beating will happen. I keep my head low, I can't breathe I know what's going to happen I keep walking, I must close my eyes for a second, clenching and unclenching my fists keeping my breathing even. I keep walking until I unknowingly walk straight into a large person._

" _oh, uh sorry I was just- "shit. I just ran straight into Red. She's a large beefy woman who is currently serving her 11_ _th_ _year of a life sentence for strangling her abusive husband to death with her bare hands, then she did the same thing to her neighbor who witnessed the whole thing. I'm I dead woman._

" _sorry I didn't mean to" I stumble over my words, usually I'm good at hiding my fear but I can't control myself this time my body is shaking and all my weaknesses are clear. Slowly Red turned around and without a word her fist connected with my cheek, and that's how it all began._

* * *

"I need to know exactly what information you leaked"

Back to business I guess. I look down at my hands, my wrists are red and sore my fingertips calloused from years of typing. Distracting myself won't make this any easier, I don't know how to tell the without risking their life. I don't know who I can trust.

"I just want to know why, what happened to make you throw everything away"

Jack looks so sincere, I don't know how to tell them I didn't want to do it, I would never have thrown away the family I always wanted. I can feel the tears threatening to fall. How can I tell them I threw my own life away to save theirs? How can I tell them I'm not sorry I did it? They are smart people, if I give them some clues to what really happened maybe they can put away the person that ruined everything. I just don't want to put their lives in danger because I want out of prison.

"who's on the other side?"

"no one it's just us"

In the back of my mind I know that Mac might be lying, just trying to make me talk; but if there really is someone there that could pass on the information I'm about to say I need to know.

"Jack", I say it so quietly I could barely hear myself speak,

"Ri, we can alone"

The old nickname makes my heart flutter, I truly never thought I would hear that name used in such a loving way ever again. I take a deep breath and try to slow my heart beat, I must do this, they should know that someone they trust is working against them. I flip my hair back and lean forward, readying myself for the bombshell I'm about to drop on them. Both their faces drop and they look both angry and pitiful, I had completely forgotten about the bruising shaped as hands around my neck.

Jack reaches out and moves some more hair out the way "what happened to you?" Quickly I pull back from his touch. "who did this?" this time its Mac speaking and he looks furious, he's clenching his knuckles so tight they're going white. The tears start again and this time I'm not strong enough to hold them back, a rouge tear runs down my cheek.

"the first day in prison is the hardest" Mac nods knowingly "but it's even worse when you're doing your first day a second time, the inmates want to make sure you remember who's boss". I don't want to talk about this anymore. Mac senses this and he thankfully changes the subject.

"we still need to know what information you leaked, Riley"

"I didn't leak any"

Mac and Jack share a quick glance of confusion before Jack speaks again,

"then what did you do with it"

I might as well tell the truth "it was sold."

Again, this response gets a look of confusion from both Mac and Jack,

"we didn't find any money in your account, or any accounts linked to you"

"that's because I'm not the one who sold it" I need to be careful, if I let on too much information there could be terrible consequences. They want more information, they want more answers that I can't give.

"if you didn't get anything out of it, then why did you do it?"

I take a deep breath before giving them a clue I really hope they understand, "sometimes you love someone so much that you would throw your own life away, and sometimes the people you think you can trust the most betray you in the worst way. Please keep this to yourself"

They both look completely dumbfounded, confused and a little angry, mostly with themselves.

"Ri, you gotta tell us what- "

I cut Jack off before he can even finish his sentence "Guard! I'd like to return to my cell!"

I can't tell them anything more than what I already have, I look away from them both, doing my best to ignore the looks they are giving me. Slowly the guard walks in and roughly grabs my shoulder shoving me to my feet, I wince when he puts pressure on my many bruises.

"Oi, be careful with her okay!" Jack stands up, I give him a little smile before the guard leads me out the room. I hope they understand and I really hope I see them again.


End file.
